The TV Chick

Millionaire Matchmaker returns to Bravo tonight for its 3rd season premiere. And this time, Patti Stanger has found her match and is planning a wedding of her own. I have to say, I wasn’t sure if I would like this show. I enjoy Bravo’s programming but the idea of matchmaker’s seemed a little archaic to me. However, it is highly entertaining. Patti is a character and a half and is truly invested in finding the perfect match for her clients. She is even a 3rd generation matchmaker. (I feel like I should break out into song from Fiddler on the Roof). So clearly, there is a need for experts like Patti because people keep coming to her for advice. The Millionaire part of Millionaire Matchmaker is because her clientele are millionaires from all walks of life who want to find their mate. I recently had a chance to chat with Patti about why she thinks there’s a need for matchmakers, what she thinks of online dating services and what’s coming up this season.

When you were growing up, did you always want to be a matchmaker?
No. Definitely one hundred percent no. A lot of works, and a lot of headaches.

What sort of challenges do you face on a daily basis? Just from seeing the premiere, I can tell there are a lot of difficult clients.
Everyone thinks they know everything. Everyone’s a know-it-all. Everyone combats me, they battle me, they don’t let me do my job. That’s probably the worst thing.

Why do you think there is a need, in 2010, for matchmakers?
I think because nobody’s meeting anyone. When you get out of college, you now do not have a peer of people to date, there’s no group left. So you either have to meet them at work, or through friends, or out at a bar or restaurant. Well what if you keep going to the same places, doing the same things, and you run out of options. And the older you get, the pickier you get because the more money you make as a woman, the more time you feel like “I don’t have to settle.” Right? And then you rule by sexual attraction, and there’s nobody you’re sexually attracted to, and the whole ball of wax.

What is your take on online dating services?
I love them. I actually am a co-brander of psxoxo.com, with sparknet–we’re partners. It’s a site that’s ruled by advice. Other sites are great, but they don’t give you advice on how to pick a screen name, how to write a profile, how to know who the right guy is from the bad guy is when you’re picking it. And at psxoxo.com, it’s driven on how to navigate the waters so you don’t waste time, because you could waste a lot of time online.

And do you prefer in-person matchmaking services over online dating services?
No, it’s different. If you’re a fast person, who likes to pick their own people, than online is better for you. But if you’re a person who doesn’t have the time, and is a bad screener, then you need an outside resource, like human resources goes to a head hunter, I’m a love hunter. No difference.

I like that term. And in your opinion, what’s the biggest dating mistake women or men make?
I think the biggest mistake dating that men and women make is too much information to tell on the date. Men love mystery and women love it even more, so I think if we all just sat back and relaxed [it would] reveal itself on its own.

What are the most common things that people tell you they are looking for in a partner?
The basic thing I think people are looking for in a partner is communication, sexual attraction, common interests, morals and values. When you get that, call it a friggin’ day.

You deal with a lot of difficult clients. One that comes to mind is Nick in the premiere episode who takes his date to haul junk.
Yeah! Who’s your favorite Nick or Omar? Who did you like better?

I liked Omar better. [Ed Note: I liked them both but was put on the spot.]
I liked Nick better. Why did you like Omar? I want to hear because you’re a girl. I want to know why you liked Omar. Would you have hauled junk?

I probably would have, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed it. (laughs)
But wouldn’t you say to him “I can’t do this.” And why would you continue to do it? Thank God that girl was like, she tried. But I mean God knows what we would have had if we didn’t have that episode. Wouldn’t you have said “no way!” I would have been like, “Are you for real? What is wrong with you?”

I liked Nick’s personality better, but I think he didn’t know what to do on a date. At least Omar knew how to take someone out to dinner. So besides Nick and Omar, do you have any stories about one of your most difficult clients?
This season, you’re going to see Shauna come back. Shauna from last year. She was a pussycat compared to what she is this year, she’s a ferocious lion. She is the nastiest son of a you-know-what…she’s the most difficult I’ve ever had. Millionaire-esses are more difficult than Millionaires.

Interesting. Why do you find that?
Because they want to talk about it all day long, and you don’t get to do any work. They’re real, hands-on, micro-managers, tell you they know everything. They’re pain in the asses.

You think men are less likely to brag about their money?
Men lead with their money, but that’s okay to lead with your money, if you do it in a very sweet way. Like “Last year, when I was in Aspen, I tried this amazing restaurant that I’d love to take you to.” That’s okay, because it led with “Oh I go to Aspen” but I’m also going to take you some place. It’s sweet, not like and by the way did I tell you I have a Bentley, and by the way did I tell you I have a boat, and by the way, I own six homes, did I tell you my family owns the Boca Raton resort? You can’t act like that, it’s too much, TMI.

Do you have that problem a lot? Do you find that women do that a lot on dates you set them up on?
Yes.

Do you have a biggest success story that you can share?
I think that the success story of this year and this season is a tie. You’re going to see Andrew, who gets engaged, that I worked my butt off, even between seasons I had a relationship with him. And then I think Zagros is going to be an amazing success story, but I can’t tell you what’s happening because they are on their date right now. I think that’s going to be an amazing success story that he turns around. Because last year, he slept with a girl on the first date.

And now this season, you are planning for your own wedding. What has that been like balancing it with work?
It’s hard. I haven’t had a chance to look at very many places and venues, and I really need to get out there.

And how did he win you over? Did he take you on a perfect date?
He did something that very few people are doing these days: he has manners. And he basically courted me, I mean like courting 101, textbook. He picked me up, he took me out, he dropped me off, and yet he lived in a far away location. He never made it easy for himself, he always came up with unusual dates, he always planned things. He called me on time to set it up, he checked in every day with me, he was a total gentlemen. I think that’s why he won me, because I was dating other people at the same time.

Can you give us another little teaser of what’s coming up this season?
So we’ve got gay millionaires, we’ve got a bi-curious female millionair-ess, we’ve got Shauna back, Andrew back, Zagros back. We’ve got so many matches, and so many hot guys. There’s a lot of hot guys. Two of them I wanted to eat up with a spoon.

(laughs) And I wanted to know, coming from a TV perspective, Bravo has some great programming. What has it meant to you to be a part of this network?

I feel really proud to be a part of this network because forgetting that it’s the docu-soap network, they’re letting real people tell their real stories and entrepreneurs that own their own businesses share their experiences with the general population, and I don’t think any other network has ever done that. So I’m proud to be on the forefront of reality.

Absolutely. And is there anything you want to add?
I just think that for those who want to join the club, it’s free: millionairesclub123.com, you want to go to psxoxo.com, that’s my co-branded site, and I have a book out “Become Your Own Matchmaker,” that just came out in paperback, so if you want to know how to get married in a year, this is the bible.

Millionaire Matchmaker premieres tonight at 10 pm on Bravo.