The TV Chick

Lindsay is back for some more The Bachelor action! Here’s her recap of last night’s episode: We begin last night’s episode with a fantastic turn of events – Michelle* wakes up with a mysterious black eye! And not surprisingly, she reminds us of it six times in the first 60 seconds of the show. Yes, I counted.

On the initial one-on-one, Brad and Chantal get picked up in a helicopter, which is actually pretty standard procedure as far as first dates go. They jet off to spend the day on a boat in Catalina Island, and while nothing particularly eventful happens on the date, they do seem to be comfortable and into each other.

On the subsequent group date, Brad takes nine girls to Dr. Drew’s Loveline. He’s “hoping this will be a chance for the girls to open up and share their innermost thoughts and feelings.” Which would be completely justified if there weren’t 11 other people in the room, and Loveline wasn’t an internationally syndicated radio program. Drew asks the group if anyone had ever cheated on a significant other, and bartender Stacy quickly volunteers herself as the only idiot to actually admit that she had. Brad claims he is impressed by her “honesty” – but apparently not too impressed, because she doesn’t get a rose.

Later on in the date, Ashley H. drinks a lot of red wine, makes some bizarre grunting noises, and then catches Britt and Brad mid-make out. It almost appears as if Brad is going to give Ashley H. the date rose – but WAIT! – he comes to his senses, realizes Ashley H. is an emotionally unstable moron, and instead awards it to Britt.

The next date’s agenda makes it clear that The Bachelor producers get a sick thrill out of f-ing with the contestants. “Let’s put the girl who’s afraid of the ocean on a boat and have her walk the ocean floor [Chantal], and we’ll have the girl with a fear of heights repel down a skyscraper [Michelle].” Brilliant. And so, Brad and evil Michelle do just that. Unfortunately during the date, Michelle does not really let on to her psychopath ways, and she gets a rose.

The rose ceremony commences, and all get a rose but the bartender, the red-head, and the fashion chick from New York.

More info on Episode 4’s “Stars”

Chantal:

What we know: She was previously married for four years.
What we don’t know: Her father, Mike O’Brien, is a former defensive back for the Seattle Seahawks. Chantal’s ex-husband, to whom she was married from 2005 – 2009, is Jason Vena, the former lead singer of Seattle-based band Acceptance. And they’re actually pretty damn good. Check ‘em out here:

Britt:

What we know: She is a sweet and shy food writer.
What we don’t know: Shy? Not so much. She was named Miss Stanford 2008 for the Tempe12 – an annual calendar of hot West Coast college chicks who have 3.0 GPAs and higher. Check out Britt hamming it up for the camera here:

Also, Eater National did some digging about her alleged “food writing” gig, but didn’t come up with much – aside from this piece in the San Francisco Chronicle about melon season.

*Side note: Am I alone in seeing the uncanny resemblance between Michelle and Maria Menounos? Seriously. They are identical.

Maria Menunos:

Michelle:

Be sure to come back next week for more awesome Bachelor recap action – the girls go to VEGAS BABY! Also, comment away with your thoughts on the episode and what you’d like to see covered in the reality world.